SCUBA DIVER HOSPITALIZED AFTER HIS “D” GETS STUCK

Pahala, HI – A scuba diver is being hospitalized at Ka’u hospital on the island of Hawaii after he inserted his penis into a giant clam while recreational diving.

Sean Madison, 22, was transported to Ka’u hospital after suffering from severe breathing complications, vomiting, extreme swelling and low blood pressure. Doctors believe physical contact with the giant mollusk may have triggered his allergy to seafood and exposed him to high levels of arsenic.

Madison, 22, whose condition has stabilized, said he inserted his penis inside the clam as a prank to impress his friend, Thomas Meyer.

“It was just a joke at first. My friend was filming so I wanted to impress him and put my dick into the clam, but then it just wouldn’t let go” he told reporters.

“It didn’t hurt or anything, it felt warm and cozy inside the clam, but I was afraid my oxygen reserves were getting low,” he admitted.

After eventually releasing himself from the clam, the young man later developed a severe allergic reaction and was rushed to Ka’u Hospital.

Dr. Andrew Smith at Ka’u Hospital believes Madison’s body reacted to the digestive enzymes of the giant mollusk, which was possibly trying to digest the man’s genitals at the time of the incident.

Dr. Smith admits it is the first case of its kind he has seen in his 22 years of practice.

“Allergies to seafood are fairly common and usually occur after ingestion of fish or shellfish, not after sexual intercourse with shellfish,” he told local reporters.

A fatal incident occurred at the Waikiki Aquarium in Honolulu in 2014 when an aquarium employee put his head inside a giant clam and lost consciousness before he could be rescued, confirming the local reputation of the mollusk as a ‘killer clam’.

In Hawaii folklore, the clam goddess Wawa U’ru was forcefully impregnated by A’ua A’uku, the shark god, but snapped the shark God’s genitals as revenge, leaving him emasculated and thus giving birth to the natives of Hawaii.

Urban Entertainment