INDIAN AUTHORITIES ON HIGH ALERT AFTER MAN-EATING COW CLAIMS 26TH VICTIM

New Delhi police have linked a series of gruesome murders to what locals are starting to call a “man-eating cow,” reports the Delhi Herald this morning.

Delhi police, who have recovered the remains of at least twenty-six people in the past three weeks, first believed they were facing an alleged serial killer, officials said yesterday.

Reports from over two hundred eyewitnesses led the investigation to point towards a rogue “man-eating cow” which “eats the flesh of its victims” according to one testimony disclosed by a Delhi police spokesman.

According to the coroner report, most victims were possibly killed during their sleep after the cow sat on their heads or started gnawing through their necks.

Ananda Vyanasmathattatanam, 33, was witness to such a deadly attack and made national headlines after his brother Purjat Vyanasmathattatanam was killed by the “man-eating cow” of Delhi last month.

“The cow sat on my brother’s face while he was sleeping and started defecating in his mouth. He never had a chance,” Ananda Vyanasmathattatanam told reporters.

Family members tried to reanimate Purjat Vyanasmathattatanam, 28, in vain.

“We tried to reanimate him but his lungs were full of cow shit” his brother, Ananda Vyanasmathattatanam, recalled in agony.

Some followers of the Hindu faith strongly believe the “man-eating cow” is possibly a reincarnation of Kamadhenu, a highly venerated cow goddess in Hindu mythology.

“Kamadhenu is taking vengeance upon the evil filthy Muslim cow killers. Kamadhenu’s vengeance is upon them,” one man told reporters.

Delhi police have warned citizens not to take action against the animal as cows are considered sacred by India’s Hindu majority, and the slaughter of cows is punishable with life imprisonment in most states.

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