ARIZONA – Authorities have arrested Fernando Neuritic, a 34-year old illegal immigrant who have butchered and eaten over 20 neighborhood dogs.
According to authorities Mr. Neuritic is originally from Guatemala. He is believed to be involved in the disappearance of more than 21 dogs in the neighborhood.
“We had multiple complaints about suspicious people coming in and out of an old abandoned barn. With search Warrant we contacted the owner; the owner said he found a number of dead animals and believed some illegal immigrants might be squatting the barn. Well, he was definitely right!!!” admits police officer.
Experts believe the illegal man, Fernando Neuritic, was hiding in the neighborhood and surviving by hunting down and butchering the neighborhood dogs.
“He hasn’t admitted to eating the dog meat, but he told authorities that his profession in Guatemala was that of a butcher. We’ve found a number of dog bones and cooked meat on location.” — says Deputy Sheriff Ricardo Jones.
“Recently two of our officers lost their dogs and rumors were spreading throughout the town of domestic pets disappearing, so I’m definitely glad we’ve put an end to all this” he admits.
A local resident who has lost her dog said: “This is just insane. Dogs are pets, not food. What kind of human eat pets. I thought eating dogs was only Chinese or Korean culture… I should’ve known it was those damn Mexicans, they’re already destroying America and now they ate my dog! Only Donald Trump can rid us of those damn cockroaches” she told reporters.
“I don’t feel safe in my own neighborhood, these criminals are roaming the streets and eating our pets?” asks another resident who lost a cat. “What will they be up to next? Are they going to start eating our children?” he ponders, visibly disheartened by the whole affair.
A nearby animal shelter had also been broken into twice in the past months, with a total of 7 cats and 3 dogs being stolen to the astonishment of the owner and arousing suspicions in the community.