“While this case is particularly strange because we’ve always heard tales of the Amazon Frogmen, I believe that what we have here is severe human deformity,” said Dr. Emma Balston of the Charles Darwin Institute for Advanced Anthropology. She continued by adding, “what this indigenous tribe is calling a miracle is actually a tragedy because this baby may not live through the night.”
Piqi, a twenty-year-old native of the Alonquin Tribe of the New Amazons, responded (via translation), “this uppity chick just goes on and on, but we know what’s going on. We’re not going to worship this frog baby. We’re just going to deal with these scientists and have them stick around until we begin the ceremony in which we’ll ask them to step into this giant boiling cauldron full of carrots and celery. It’s fun to make the these folks sweat.”
