CORONAVIRUS TEST CAN DETECT VIRUS IN 30 SECONDS BY INSERTING 6-INCH TUBE INSIDE URETHRA

A new test that can diagnose Covid-19 in just 30 seconds has been developed at the University of Chicago Medical School Research Center.

The new coronavirus test could lead to confirmed cases being treated quicker and fewer laboratory tests being needed, say experts.

Although the test has been reported to be extremely painful in some cases, an alternative anal testing method is being developed at the moment.

“I guess it is similar to the feeling a woman would have if she lost her virginity to a jackhammer” one patient who tested negatively described the painful procedure to journalists.

Researchers at the University of Chicago Medical School have developed a test that can diagnose Covid-19 in just 30 seconds by inserting a 6-inch tube inside the patient’s urethra.

“It feels like someone cut my penis in half, stuffed it with hot jalapenos, and then sewed it back together, but at least I know I’m not infected,” another patient told reporters.

250 patients in three hospitals were administered the test last week and although a majority of participants rated the procedure to be an 11 on a 10-point scale for pain, doctors confirmed the maneuvers as “extremely successful.”

“This could be a game-changer in our fight against the coronavirus, we are developing a self-kit that people will be able to perform onto themselves and that should be available soon,” one researcher explained.

Searchers had previously developed a procedure that entailed inserting a 30-inch plastic tube through the anal cavity but recent testing proved the test could be as successful with a 10-inch tube.

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Urban Entertainment