Woman Hospitalized After Slipping On Used Cond0ms

emergency in walmart
SAINT LOUIS, MISSOURI – An 91-year-old woman Rachel Becker, is now in critical condition at a local hospital after what authorities call a “shocking and unfortunate event.”
According to police report, Rachel was at the local Walmart’s customer service counter exchanging a quilt she had purchased the other day. Mr. Autumn Long was also there, apparently “trying to exchange used cond0ms” he had purchased the night before.
An employee Ms. Maurice Adams who was assisting Mr. Autumn told investigators, “This guy approached my register with a glazed look in his eyes.” explained Maurice Adams “He looked pretty rugged and confused. He slams a box of magnums on the counter and half of the cardboard box was soaked and soggy. He then pulls out these gross wet cond0ms and starts throwing them in the air yelling ‘These Magnums are too small. They cutting off my d*ck circulation! I want my money back!’ A drop of jizz hit me in the eye. Then the elderly lady (Rachel Becker) next to him turned around to leave and that’s when she stepped on the gooiest one, slipped and hit her head.”
Ms. Maurice Adams said that Walmart security quickly restrained Mathis until police arrived.

Rachel Becker, the elderly woman involved in the incident, remains in critical condition. According to her family, she has suffered brain hemorrhaging due to the fall. Mr. Autumn Long is facing charges of disorderly and lewd conduct, assault and resisting arrest. He is being held on a $7000 bond.

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