HOUSTON – Surprisingly, a 28 year-old woman, Kimmy Bowell has claimed that she is expecting a baby pig as her first child.
Bowell alleges that one night she returned home from a night of playing mini-golf and was jumped on and assaulted by a 400lb pig named Pete.
“People think I’m crazy and need mental because of my story,” Bowell said. “They ask how the pig would get my panties off to mount me. I wasn’t wearing any undies is the means by which! This pig been hot for me for years. Continually sniffing at my private parts. He’s tried to rape me a hundred times. This is just the first time he successfully got inside me.”
Bowell’s dad Don Bowell who supports her claims said…”Bowell knows she can’t engage in sexual relations until she’s married and she guarantees she hasn’t.”
“Pete’s always been an ornery pig, so it’s not surprising he raped our girl. After this incident, I butchered Pete out. The bacon I made him into is helping Bowell and her child; after all, she’s eating for two now and needs extra meat.”
Bowell reportedly has refused to see an obstetrician to check her and the baby’s health or get a sonogram to see what the potential “pig baby” might look like.
“I just want to wait and be surprised by what my baby looks like,” Bowell said. “My hope is that that it’s not a mutant pig of some kind and it just comes out looking like a normal human baby, which I feel, will be the case.”