Man Dies After Snorting Human Ashes

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A 53-year old drug addict died this morning, after snorting human ashes that he had found in a house that he was burglarizing.

According to the police report, Mr. Frank Emery was found unconsciousness, face down in a pile of human ashes, by the homeowner. Emery had apparently broken into the residence and snorted funeral urns, presumably because he thought the ashes inside were cocaine.

When the police officers arrived on the site, Mr. Emery regained consciousness and was taken to the police station, but he became increasingly confused and sick during his interrogation and he lost consciousness. He was rapidly transported to the hospital, where he was unfortunately declared dead.

According to his death certificate, Mr Emery died of a “respiratory arrest”, presumably caused the enormous quantity of ashes that he had snorted.

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The paramedics called to the scene, said he had never seen anything like this in his career. He also complained to reporters, that the paramedics have no medications or tools to deal with such unusual cases, contrarily to drug overdoses.

According to police department, Mr Emery was well-known for his cocaine abuse and had been arrested in the past over drug related charges. The police believes he must have been under the influence of drugs and alcohol to confuse the ashes with drugs.

“Mr. Emery seems to have entered the residence with the intention of committing a robbery. He found two small funeral urns over the fireplace and “snorted” a large quantity of human ashes, possibly in excess of 500 grams. This is probably what caused his death a few hours later.” said Officer Daniel.

People, including Rolling Stones’ guitarist, Keith Richards, have snorted human ashes in the past, mostly by mistake. Mr. Emery, however, could be the first person ever recorded, to die after doing it…

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