West Virginia | 85 year-old Margaret Allen has raised 14 kids of her own, but none has given her a grandchild she so desperately wants.
“I love kids, I’m not sure why my own kids won’t have kids. Shame on them,” Allen told local reporters “But God always answers my prayers and though, at my age I finally got knocked up. I pray hard enough, God will let me give birth to a grandchild. I mean, my own child, that I will treat like a grandchild.”
Reportedly, Margaret Allen prays fourteen hours straight everyday, for God to put a baby inside her. Once she is finished, she then spends the rest of the night in bed “mating with” a 22-year-old man she has chosen to be the father.
She is so dedicated, like professional athlete-level dedicated,” Margaret’s friend Angie Dickson, a fellow congregation member at Bible Baptist Church, said. “When she sets a goal in her head, she don’t stop till she succeeds. She stopped a terrorist attack on our town. She even prayed for homosexual men to get out of town and they did, eventually. She is truly a miracle worker.”
Allen’s children declined comment, except her eldest son:
“I BELIEVE ANYBODY CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING THEY PUT THEIR MIND TO. I USED TO S**K AT BOWLING, NOW I’M GOOD AT BOWLING. I BELIEVE MOTHER WILL GET PREGNANT.”
After years of praying Margaret is now officially 4 months pregnant. She plans to name the child “Miracle”.
Now if this isn’t proof that God is real then I don’t know what is?